Maintain This Moment

Maintain This Moment
By David Avila

Maintain this moment—
for a breath, I almost lost myself.
Where did I go again?
I am gone.
Am I not me?
Or is that the wrong question?

Life throws a curveball,
asks me to shift,
to become something else—
or to meet what’s coming with a shape I haven’t worn before.

I leave myself open,
but I don’t know what waits
on the other side of this.

I’m used to knowing—
where things go,
what they are,
what this is.

But she came,
and rearranged everything in my suitcase.
It’s not bad—
just unfamiliar.

Now I ask:
Where is this?
Where is that?

A sparrow flies above,
and I see her from that place in the sky.
I listen close.

I know—
if I forget the bounds,
I might lose myself
in possibilities
my life hasn’t held before.

I can’t let that happen.
I keep myself.

Do I leave?
Go elsewhere?
Keep to myself?

I jack into the foundational system:
You are here.
You are now moving into what you don’t know.

Again I ask—
Is that true?
Or am I not here,
losing myself again,
trying to maintain this moment?